The most important post I will ever write

Let me start off by saying that not by any measure would I consider myself a gay marriage activist. So asking my boyfriend to marry me wasn’t for purposes of making a statement rather it seemed like the normal thing to do. After all, he’s my one true love and we’ve been together for 12 years. Why wouldn’t we?

It all came to fruition this past weekend on Herring Cove Beach in Provincetown. My husband’s uncle, a registered minister, performed the ceremony in front of our closest friends and some of our family. There were more straights than gays attending with a few curious onlookers and well wishers. I would highly suggest the trip and expense of a Provincetown wedding if anyone is considering it.

Although I don’t consider myself an activist, I felt it was important for us to show our family and friends that our commitment to each other was normal. It’s my opinion that us gays (I love saying it like that) can have a positive impact on those who care for us but may not agree with everything about us, if they witness us doing things they can relate to versus segregating ourselves and/or behaving outside the norm.

On a number of occasions my best friend’s wife has told us that she loves us but doesn’t agree with our ‘lifestyle.’ So we’ve been through a few late night, alcohol induced discussions but there’s no changing her mind. Those are her beliefs; ingrained since childhood by a patriarchal religious construct that benefits from instilling an “us against them view of the world.” I will always be amazed why women support this construct even though it goes against their own self interests but that’s another story. Who really knows what our straight friends and family members think or say about us when we aren’t around?

I believe that people and institutions only change when it benefits them. The information age has made it much more difficult for a group like the church to demonize of us when our friends and families can see how normal we really are. I consider myself extremely lucky to be living in this country and at this time. I can only imagine how difficult my life would have been if I had been born only a generation ago or in a less democratic country.

There are still friends and family members who don’t know I’m gay or who I just avoid altogether cause I don’t feel like they are intelligent enough to consider acceptance. Using logic and science to advance the discussion with those who beliefs are faith based is like trying to convince a top to bottom. They really want to but they are too uptight.

And even though they may not readily admit it I think attending our wedding changed their minds somewhat. At least until they get home and watch Fox News.

No more politics. Back to SPORTS!!!!