thesportsfag | my gay sport's blog

If Alan Iverson retired in the woods and no one was around to hear it, would anyone care?

OK, so maybe I’m getting my metaphors all mixed up here but the range of emotions I felt from hearing about AIan Iverson’s retirement ranged from good riddance to who gives a fuck. It’s about the same feeling I had upon hearing of the retirement of Lou Dobbs at CNN.

Iverson first burst onto the scene for participating in an infamous brawl at a bowling alley. What’s there to fight about at a bowling alley? Someone make fun of your shoes?

He quickly turned me against my all-time favorite NBA team, the Philadelphia 76ers, when they drafted him. His ‘me-first’ attitude didn’t garner much respect from even the most hard core Philly apoloist.

Just like his football counterpart Me O (Terrell Owens), he was shocked that only one team was interested in his services this past off season. Days before he signed with the Grizzlies, Iverson tweeted that God was leading him to Memphis but after learning that he wasn’t a starter I guess God told him to be an asshole and quit the team.

Iverson, like Me O, is a fading star with an over-infated sense of self who thinks he would tarnish his legacy if he wasn’t starting. What a stupid, selfish fucktard. His nickname was ‘AI’ which I always thought was perfect for him. AI = Absolutely Ignorant.

UPDATE: On 12.02.09 The Philadelphia 76ers announced they had signed Allen Iverson to a one-year deal after learning that their starting guard Lou Williams would be out eight weeks with a broken jaw. Good luck with that.